May 17, 2012

How to deal with tantrums?

how to deal with tantrums?
The worst age on how to deal with tantrums is around two or three years old, commonly known as the “terrible two’s.”  However, lots of kids don’t stop throwing tantrum until they reach the age of four or five.  By this age, it has become easier for parents to deal through with them and eradicate instant full-blown tantrums.

Kids’ tantrum is a normal way of behaviour for them.  They normally get lesser as they grow up.  As children become older they gradually learn to control their attitudes and emotions. They begin controlling their frustrations so they control their outbursts. And there are also children who display more tantrums than other kids of their age.

1.   Anger -- This emotion is normally linked to tantrums.  It means your child is burdened with annoyance and that throwing tantrum serves as the pressure valve for the child.
2.   Frustration -- It’s done either by not being able to perform a particular task such as tying a shoe lace, or by not being understood by adults due to lack of recognized communication skills.
3.   Need for more independence -- The kid may not like doing things for himself and get disturbed when he is exercised by someone in authority.  Things such as tying the seat belt in the car will always trigger a tantrum.
4.   Seeking attention -- It happens when the child is noticed too much when throwing his tantrum.  It makes him learn that his tantrum will catch your attention.  Provide praise and right attention for proper behaviour.
5.   Hungry, uncomfortable, and tired -- More chances will your child experience tantrum when he is already very upset.

Tips how to avoid tantrums
1.   Recognize and praise each good behavior as praise encourages the child to behave better instead of criticizing his bad behaviour.
2.   Model a good example for the child to follow.  If you are always upset and you tend to get angry right away, you’re modelling this bad behaviour to the child.
3.   Give other options so that the child finds control in his daily living. For instance, ask what dress he wants to wear tomorrow, or ask what food he wants to eat. You may ask, “Do you want an apple or an orange?”
4.   Twist the attention of the child. It’s better to avert his attention to something different even before his tantrum becomes full-blown. Bear in mind, young kids have short attention span.
5.   Shun triggers – avoid being in a situation that might lead to his tantrum.  Apply the ten-minute warning approach by saying: “it’s bed time in 10 minutes, so you have to finish it.”  This way the kid understands that what he’s doing is about to finish.
6.   Employ appropriate toys and games that permit your child to win.  This avoids tantrums which are made of frustrations for failing to complete the activity.

Dealing with your child’s tantrum
1.   Remaining calm is the first most important thing to do.  Although you’re not a calm person, try to be.  It does help a lot.
2.   Not minding the behaviour works best when it is just starting.  Keep yourself off him and pretend you don’t notice.  Avoid providing attention for this misbehavior.
3.   Redirect his concentration.  Try to show him something attractive to look at.  Most of the time you can apply this to discourage the child’s tantrum.
4.   Hold or cuddle the child while talking to him with a soft voice.  However, this only is effective in the beginning.  The moment the tantrum becomes full blown things become worse. 
5.   Time out.  If you feel like losing your patience, you can transfer the child to safe place to leave him there for few minutes.  This will give him some inner control, too.  Get rid of those stuff that might be destroyed if he turns destructive.
6.   Never reason out with a kid who is at the peak of his tantrum.
TOP TIP – if the tantrum is over, don’t hold grudges. Cuddle up the child and reconcile.
Do it consistently for the child to know that tantrums can’t help in receiving what he likes and that your mind is unchanging about this. Hope the above tips on how to deal with tantrums can really help.
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At October 6, 2012 at 5:34 AM , Anonymous Child Problems said...

What I do on this, I'll just allow my child to do with his tantrums and explain afterwards that what they did is not good and I didn't like it.


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