July 28, 2011

Discipline Challenge on Bad Behaviors: Why Children Always Ignore their Parents

It is too easy to fall into the habit of paying undue attention to the bad behaviors of children.  When parents are faced with discipline challenge they become naggers, constantly correcting children’s action.   Obviously this is not helping them to feel good about themselves. 

Parents feel surprised when even very young kids tune them out and don’t listen. They just ignore what their parents are saying.  Kids pout and act allergic to their parents.  These rejecting bad behaviors make sense, don’t they?  As adults, don’t we try to avoid people who regularly criticize us?  Kids, too, feel exactly what adults feel.  They feel bad if they are not treated with respect.     

It is smarter, then, to use our energy to look for and to reinforce our children’s positive actions.  If we constantly point out what they are doing right, we will help them feel proud of themselves.  On the contrary, you shrink the little self-worth they have if you scold them often.


Stressful Discipline Situations

Nerve-racking discipline moments might find us losing our own self-control.  Parents become ineffective when they contribute to the chaos.  The minute parents recognize the bad behaviors, they should slow down, calm down, and allow the more mature self to take over.  It is worth a few minutes to find constructive ways to cope with bad behaviors and apply right discipline.

Initially, kids cannot be left on their own to find solutions to problems about discipline challenge.  Kids need their parents as role models.  Parents need to be active participants in helping kids to clearly see family issues and to have constructive solutions. 


FAQ to Meet Discipline Challenge

Our answers to the following questions will help parents meet discipline challenge in the most effective way parents can:    

     1.   Is this a problem or a challenge?   A Challenge.

     2.   What’s the goal of your discipline?  Self-discipline

     3.   Is discipline for punishment or for change?  For change

     4.   Is discipline something we do to or with children?   With

     5.   Are we treating our children the way we hope they will treat us and others?  Yes

It might be a good idea to have these questions written on index cards in several different rooms.   When we need them, they will be handy to help your move open to a positive discipline path.

What kids learn and successfully use during one stage of development may need to be learned in slightly new ways during another stage.   Each new phase of development builds in the preceding foundation.  With parent’s help, children will begin to look upon difficult situations as challenges and will view themselves as adept problem-solvers.

When bad behaviors have been resolved, parents and kids feel relieved and want to forget that a conflict ever happened.  Later, it is important to review what happened and to congratulate each other over the positive resolutions.

Remember these successful discipline interactions could help parents and children find ways to meeting the next discipline challenge.  More importantly, as parents help their children to recognize bad behaviors and success, they contribute to their feelings of positive self-esteem.    



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