July 20, 2011

Why Children Misbehave -- Bad Behaviors Require Parents’ Non-Reaction

Want to know, parents, the real secrets of having happy kids? And what to do when children misbehave? There are a couple of factors to consider and to deal with bad behaviors:  Love and Non-Reaction of parents.

This is how it goes when kids misbehave:  Expressing love alone is not enough to bring up a good and a happy child.  If love alone is the answer to resolve your kids' bad behaviors, then there would be no more disobedient, stubborn, and defying kids.  Kids misbehave because they lack information, lack some needs, and have some tensions.  

Aside from showing love, it is parents’ “NON-REACTION” that is required to cope with a child’s bad behaviors. One important parenting style to include is for parents to develop "Non-Reaction" response.  It is simple and yet many parents fall short of this category.  It simply means you ignore their bad behaviors when kids misbehave.  If you talk and react, the more bad behaviors kids are likely to display.

Non-reaction to Kid's Bad Behaviors

Webster's dictionary defines reaction as: "opposition or resistance to a force, influence, or action."  Another meaning which is more related to parents is an exhaustion or depressive condition because of exerting too much energy or stimulation. The second line is very familiar to most parents when confronted with bad behaviors, isn’t it?

Basically, a reaction is happening when two opposite forces have a collision. In the case of a family the two powerful forces are generally parents and kids.  If this happens, the outcome of bad behaviors is usually an  exhausted parent and a  miserable kid.

Kids as Winners, Parents as Losers

If you react to bad behaviors during the moments children misbehave, you as a parent are the loser.  No parents have ever won over their child’s bad behaviors.  It’s very ineffective to discipline them when they are angry, tensed, and misbehaving.

Rather than showing reactions, parents should keep calm and be aware of what's actually behind their kids' bad behaviors.  Let them realize no matter how much they cry, this action makes no sense to you.  This happens if you show non-reaction when they show off bad behaviors.

The Benefits

If this is so, then the struggling going on between you and your child is almost over.  Although children will misbehave again, it won’t and cannot bother you anymore.  Their sorts of bad behaviors have no effects to you.  Although kids misbehave, their bad behaviors are not big issues.  This simply means you win and the child loses.

After this scenario, and when the child has calm down,  put end to your struggle by carefully explaining to him why there’s no need for children to misbehave.  This is the best time for you to explain it.  Surely, the child will listen and understand your explanation.

In conclusion, when children misbehave and display bad behaviors, avoid giving reactions to their actions.   Talk to them when both of you have calmed down.  Ears and minds are at their ultimate functions to receive information when kids are not misbehaving or showing bad behaviors.

The next time children misbehave, parents should avoid showing reactions to it.  Parents can see that there are amazing results once bad behaviors are ignored!

Why Children Misbehave -- Bad Behaviors Require Parents’ Non-Reaction  is posted on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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      At July 21, 2011 at 2:09 AM , Blogger conceptualz.blogspot.com said...

      wow, thanks for the tips. =)

      At July 22, 2011 at 12:02 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

      ignoring the behavior is the best way to do in children having temper tantrum. this is an amazing site!
      Visit my parenting blog thanks

      At July 23, 2011 at 3:43 AM , Blogger Glenn Silvestre said...

      Thank you conceptualz. More are coming for the next few days.

      At July 23, 2011 at 3:47 AM , Blogger Glenn Silvestre said...

      You're right. The best thing to do when children misbehave is to avoid giving reactions. Children will soon be quiet and stop what they're doing. On the other hand, the more you give reactions, the more they will misbehave. I appreciate your comment.

      How can I go to your site? What's your URL?

      At March 21, 2012 at 1:23 PM , Blogger dguisti said...

      Correct. Scientific research shows the Only way to reduce bad behavior is to give it No attention.

      Is spanking effective? Sometimes. Is it the way of the future. I doubt it.

      Answer a poll question at http://www.squidoo.com/how-i-stopped-spanking-my-kids

      At March 21, 2012 at 4:30 PM , Blogger Admin said...

      The more you react on the kids' misbehavior, the more likely they are to do it again because they can get your attention. Ignoring them will help you better. Thank you for visiting us.

      At December 29, 2014 at 2:02 PM , Blogger jtman9200 said...

      I think that parents must start disciplining their children early in constructive ways. At times even with the right parenting, children may need extra help. My wife is a elementary school principal and I can't tell you how many kids just need a little bit of extra help to get back on track. http://centerforbehavioral.com/counseling/


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