June 28, 2011

Quarreling Parents and the Bad Effects to Their Children

Many husbands and wives are quarreling parents; they lose their patience easily.  They always end up into enraged emotional fights and shouting.  Without any intentions, quarreling parents showing the scene in front of the children will harm the latter’s mental condition.  Little kids generally are very sensitive that’s why it’s easy for them to get affected by their parents’ warfare.

Think about the Children

Marriage displays its ups and downs, very similar in a normal relationship.  Marriage is no bed of roses. Quarreling parents occasionally is a vital part of this game.  They may ignore their parenthood when it comes to fighting each other.  They throw devastating words reciprocally that hurt both of them. Worse, guiltless children are not spared of this psychological and emotional effects resulted from the fight.

Children basically are receptive, very sharp-eyed and alert.  They are fast to pick up about pressures and tensions.  Despite this, young children are not yet ready to grasp things realistically.  They are not smart at identifying the cause.  Hearing loud yelling and slamming the doors, they wonder, “is it because of me?”

The world of children does revolve in the activities of parents.  A father and a mother serve as protection and security for the young.  Supposedly, they must give constant sense of confidence that their love is unsinkable.  Grumbling of hostility between  quarreling parents will leave a feeling of insecurity to children.  They find feelings of uncertainty and think whether the fight has something to do with them, the children.

Tips for Fighting Parents

Here are some tips parents need to consider when fighting:
  1. Do you want people to watch your embarrassing fight?  Put yourself in the shoes of your little children.
  2. Take time, each of you, to calm down before talking about the big problem.  When dealing with anger, counting 1 to 10 is a proven effective technique.  Never settle a dispute when angry.
  3. It is not helpful when the two you would fight by fire.  Voice raising, door slamming, or putting blame on the other partner will aggravate the situation.
  4. If issues need to get resolved, wait until the children are asleep.  Never let them hear quarreling parents and what is it you’re fighting for.
  5. In case you have big fight in front of them, let kids understand that they are not to be blamed on such condition.  Explain further that sometimes parents fight, but still they love each other.
  6. Explain that losing your temper is a work of mistake, and that there are many things said that both parents really don’t mean. It happens because they’re both angry.
  7. Do your best as parents to reconcile as soon as possible in order to display unity and normal front to the children.
Fighting as couples is normal and it happens in every family.  However, to fight positively matters most especially when there are innocent eyes and ears witnessing the scene.  Would you still be quarreling parents and couple fighters?  Sure, you will.  But next time, make it right and spare your children from the harmful effects!

Quarreling Parents and the Bad Effects to Their Children  is  a post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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At July 11, 2011 at 9:16 PM , Anonymous Ning Tolentino said...

One thing that parents need to contain is their anger. It is true that there are misunderstandings but the children must be spared of these.

At July 14, 2011 at 8:17 AM , Blogger Glenn Silvestre said...

Children don't really deserve to witness strong fights between parents. Sparing each other would mean sparing your kids from the unseen effects. Thank you for commenting, Ning.

At February 19, 2013 at 9:48 PM , Blogger Greg Funtemayor said...

The responsibility of our parents are not much easy that's why sometimes their patience loss because of family problem and etc. We need to face those problems in a nice way not just like quarreled and so on.

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At February 20, 2013 at 3:30 PM , Blogger Admin said...

Hi Greg, as parents we should display to our children the way how to cope with different problems that need not resort to disputes and fighting. It is more of getting trained with the skills of patience. As children observe it, they can as well imitate how we parents deal with serious matters done with calmness and composure.

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