September 8, 2011

Children’s Misbehavior: Understanding Punishments on Children

Sickness and Symptoms
 
Children’s misbehavior is not a body sickness, but oftentimes placing punishments on children will cause physical and emotional scars. The cause of this sickness is by imposing punishment, rather than right discipline.  Most average families have experienced some early warning symptoms about this condition.  

While every abuse uses a form of punishment, not all is abusive.  This does not state that a slight punishment works or is okay.   Punishments are based on the conviction that kids should suffer in order to learn a few lessons.


Warning signs are most obvious in people who have power to control their kids—the parents.  Often, parents think that punishments on children will balance their parenting style.  Parents can use physical suffering although parents are not abusive.  The truth is punishments on children don’t teach well; they just hurt.  If parents impose suffering, it makes learning more difficult and builds resentment toward the anguishing kids.


Punishments on Children

All forms of punishment can result to emotional and physical damage on kids. The harm might not be noticeable, like physical bruises, but deep rooted emotional scars will last for a lifetime.  

Punishments on children may involve physical pain: spanking, beating, squeezing, dragging, pushing or kicking.  They can also involve scolding using hurtful verbal words.   Punishments use blame, warn, shame, or threat on kids.

Punishments on children usually last long and it’s very unfair to our kids to take them all. Often, parents use them whether they are related to a child's misbehavior or not.  When hurt and angry, parents always use punishments as tools to retaliate.

Punishment is a silent destroyer.  Often it does work and parents get a quick fix.  Instead of learning how to behave well, it makes kids feel afraid of what will happen if they misbehave.

Over time, punishments on children are no longer effective.  Many kids become immune to them.  They tend to misbehave when parents are not around.  Kids may not develop right discipline but the “I-don't-care” attitude.  Kids believe it is normal to do misbehavior as long as parents don't know it.  


The Cure

All abusive people have been maltreated by someone.  Mostly, punishments came from their parents.  Being abusive is a learned behavior.  Fortunately, not all abused kids grow up to be punishing parents. They make a better choice—to cure it.

The cure for harmful punishments involves all parents around the globe.  We need to re-learn the way we think as far as disciplining our children is concerned.  We need to replace harmful punishments on children with views that are healthy and positive.  Learn some effective parenting discipline skills.

When parents use punishments on children, they must be logically related to the act of misbehavior and not on the child.  Instead of making the child suffer, the focus is on fixing the mistake to prevent it from happening again in the future.  Parents should help children learn how to practice self-discipline and not blind obedience.



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