August 7, 2011

Children Hate their Parents: 5 Valid Reasons Why Children Dislike their Parents

While there are many things parents don’t like about their kids, there are also valid reasons why children hate their parents.  It is illogical for parents who perceive that they are the only ones doing right and their kids are always the ones doing wrong.  Effective parenting is a two-sided relationship.  Both parents and children must work hand in hand in order to make their relationship grow.  There should be no opportunity to provoke and hate one another.

In this modern generation, one of the family issues is that kids don’t anymore respect their mothers and fathers--they hate them.  But how about us, are we aware that we should also respect and not hate our kids?  Often, parents complain about their children’s acts of stubbornness and disobedience.  Consequently, kids can hardly respect their parents and they tend to hate them instead.  Truth is many parents overlook their responsibility of nurturing their kids in caring ways.  They only see the authority they use to controlling them.  This sounds unfair for the kids, doesn't it?

Basis why Children may Hate Parents

1.    Over-protection does more harm than good.  Allow your child to discover new things on his own. Over-loving parents tend to over-protect their children in many ways--this can make kids to hate them.  Keep in mind that while a child continues to grow, he attempts to discover many things around him.   All kids have this natural inclination.  For younger boys, climbing up a small tree excites them.   You can provide useful tips on how to climb safely rather than restricting him.  So when the child climbs up again, he knows there are precautions to take. Children could hate a parent who is over-protective.  

2.    Unfulfilled promises.   There are situations that parents do promise things for their children.  The kids with all their efforts do their part.  When time comes, parents provide lots of excuses to break their promises.   If this happens, young kids may begin to hate them.  They won’t be convinced anymore that you can still keep your promise.  These unfulfilled promises are instilled in the child’s mind.  It is a hurtful experience when the people they trust can't keep their words.

3.    Frequent scolding is hateful.  You break their heart if you respond negatively while attempting to offer their help.  Kids want to please us in some small ways they can do, but how we ignore and hate their efforts.  Worse, they get unreasonably scolded rather than being appreciated and praised.  A husband and a wife are responsible to guide them into doing things right, not to verbally hate them when they create mistakes.  Be realistic that kids are too young to live by their parents’ standards.   Illogical anger is one thing kids hate about their parents. Parenting skills know how to discipline children without yelling and reprimanding.

4.    Paying no attention.  There are times kids want to be proud of their own accomplishments.  They want their parents to get their approval and that they are achievers, too.  Never ignore your child’s great art work if he shows it.  It builds his self-worth and confidence if parents become happy for them.  On the contrary, children may hate their parents if you don’t always pay attention to their efforts.  They will have the impression that their works are not important to you.  Wouldn’t that be hateful for the little ones?

5.    Not doing what you teach.  Parents want their kids to be action doers but not for them.   This is one reason why children have the feelings of resentment.  They keep instructing their kids not to fight but aggressive blows are displayed by the father and mother.  Giving explanations is not helpful, showing your action does.   It is confusing for children not to fight if parents are quarrelsome and hate each other.  Kids view their parents as role models in every circumstance.

Although parents have the goals to go the other mile but it’s more likely for children to hate their parents for the above valid reasons.   So express your love by trying to avoid things they hate and  dislike.  For sure, you can win them back and earn their respect!


Children Hate their Parents: 5 Valid Reasons Why Children Dislike their Parents  is a post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children 

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At December 4, 2012 at 8:56 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You left out FAVORITISM!!!!!! my parents showed my sister way more love, payed for everything and I finally never talk to them and NEVER will!

At February 12, 2013 at 4:03 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

The first reason is probably the main reason I don't talk to my parents much. I'm an only child and I remember when I was 17 and I couldn't do anything (paid for my own car, insurance, gas, cell phone, and had a job). I finally got so fed up I decided to move far away for college. I did and I'm not looking back. I wasn't asking to go party and do bad things, I was asking for simple things like being able to drive myself to school (we lived a half mile from school), being able to invite a friend over for a couple hours to work on a project, or even go get my own clothes by myself. Just thinking about this makes me cringe. God I hated them.

At May 9, 2013 at 3:34 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Parents want you to be safe, like checking in at certain times, and they are overprotective.

At May 9, 2013 at 3:45 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

They don't want you saying up late on school nights and don't want you staying at friends house to night. Also they want you say hello to strangers.

At May 14, 2013 at 2:25 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

They think staying up affects your grades. They say this is a free country but not for kids they have to go to school every day.

At July 19, 2013 at 9:47 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

My Dad treats me like a servant he wants me to get his cirgerates out the and wants to ride my bike in the to close at the house where I can get. yesterday he wanted me to keep mowing and also I couldn't take break or I can't play Wii. He always wants get exercise. When ever I play he comes to me and says get exercise.

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