January 17, 2012

Outdated Parenting Skills: 6 Signs Your Parenting Skills need Updating

Have you already updated your outdated parenting skills?  Let’s accept the reality: if your parenting approach is based on the 20th century instead of today’s 21st century, you’re setting up a formula to fail in your family and parenting.   If you’re applying the outdated techniques, your parents and your grandparents used many years ago, then you and your children will not enjoy your relationship.  

Keep in mind that all bets are off the moment a child is born.  Your kids may not be interested in your passion for music, sports, or history.  Let the kids grow to be what they are destined to be.  Don't let outdated parenting skills come your way.  As a result, a great, lasting relationship will be developed between the two of you.

6 Signs Your Parenting Skills are Outdated:

1.   You scream and yell frequently.  Modern children are not responsive to frequent yelling and screaming.  Before you know it, they’re yelling back at you.  It will only result to loud yelling contest between you and your kids.  It is smarter to stay cool, especially when talking with the kids.  Use your authoritative voice, but avoid screaming and yelling, you will only look like insane.  Constant yelling and screaming cannot win your child’s respect. 

2.   You’re either aggressive or passive.  Is the kind of behaviour you’re displaying passive or aggressive. These two are outdated parenting skills to avoid.   If your kids don’t want to take out the garbage after telling him, do you show negative reaction like pouting?  You may not intend to do it, but your action shows you’re like a child.  If the kid doesn’t follow your order, tell him a consequence will be imposed. Being passive or aggressive is not helpful.

3.   You’re not even listening.   Are you a good parent as well as a good listener?  There are times your children want you to listen to them rather than absorbing all your voice of wisdom.  Ask them if they want to listen in case you want to share your advice.  If they don’t want, tell them it’s okay and ask them you always have time to talk to them.   They’ll give you their respect and trust.  Don’t force them to take your great thoughts if they’re not prepared to listen to you. 

4. You don’t accept it’s 21st century now. Being a child or a teenager of this generation is not the same 20 years or more ago.  They belong to the digital world now, have advanced technology and they grow up smarter and brighter.  Remember the time when a Walkman or Atari was fresh and popular?  Now they have advanced devices: laptops, netbooks, MP3 players, and tablets.  The former gadgets are considered outdated already. Now their way to communicate and socialize have gone up globally using technology and social networking websites.  Understand their present life from today’s point of view. This way you can adjust your outdated parenting skills.

5.   You avoid the right consequences. How well your kids understand the law of cause and effect.  Each action needs a certain reaction.  For instance, if they break the curfew rules, the consequences can be depriving their video playing games or no TV watching.  As they go into the existing world, they get a consequence for being late or not following rules.

6.   You always say “no.”  Who runs the entire home? Your kids or you?  You will create a big chaos if you always say “keep quiet” or “stop it” or “don’t” or “no.” Saying no to them follows a simple explanation.  Explain why it is “no” Use your authoritative voice, be firm, but don’t forget to be fair also.

Parents of today need to improve their outdated parenting skills, or else their parenting is not going anywhere. Accept the fact that children are not the same more than 20 years ago.  Parenting the children the way they raised you may not be effective anymore.  Be willing to learn, improve, and leave behind your ineffective parenting approach.  Definitely you’ll decrease your stress level and create a happier family.

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Outdated Parenting Skills: 6 Signs Your Parenting Skills need Updating is a post on Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children
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At January 24, 2012 at 9:46 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find it can be so challenging not to yell back at my son when he curses at me. But, this article is right. That is not the best way to deal with the situation! There's some great parenting advice on http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-ce. I learned how to set boundaries, and even create a contract with my son, that we could both follow.

At January 24, 2012 at 9:23 PM , Blogger Admin said...

Hi there. Thank you for giving your thoughts. You are appreciated!!!

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