December 15, 2011

How to Raise Good Kids: Be Realistic, Kids Mess Up


Kids are not perfect. How to raise good kids is not expecting perfection. They mess up most of the time.  They are kids, especially when it comes to grades.  Good grades are not worth crying over.  Good grades are not worth sacrificing social balance over.  Ask your kids to do their best then teach them to be satisfied with their results.



LIST ON HOW TO RAISE GOOD KIDS:

     1.    If you have little bitty kids, sit on the floor a lot.  Communicate at their level.
     2.    Teach them about money.  How to earn it, save it, invest it, spend it, and give it away.
     3.    Raise good kids by listening to them.  Ask more, tell less.
     4.    Hug more—this is what they need—then nag less.
     5.    Show your kids good affection even after they think they are too big for it.
     6.    Teach them good, important things: kindness, charity, love, forgiveness, compassion, respect, honesty, responsibility, and how to have fun.
     7.    Never lie to them if you want to raise good kids.  Never tolerate any lie from them.
     8.    Raise good kids by developing their own uniqueness.  Do not try to mold their personality. 
     9.    Let them be who they are and let them become what they want to be, not what you want them to be.
   10.  Do not make jackass out of yourself at their sporting events.
   11.  Raise them up but do not protect them too much.  Let them make their own mistakes and suffer the consequences.  The lesson is in the consequences.
   12.  Give more love than stuff and you’ll raise good kids.


STAY INVOLVED TO RAISE GOOD KIDS

Know what is going on in your kids’ lives.  Know what their good interests are.  Know their friends.  Have their friends over to your house for a party.  Yes, they will trash your house, but it is better to have a messed up house than a dead kid.  We raise children but they die these days.  There are guns and drugs and suicide and pedophiles to deal with.  We do not have too many of those things to deal with when we were younger.  Kids today deal with more serious stuff than we ever did.  The best way how to raise good kids is to keep your kids involved and you being involved with them.  Know who they hang around with, know where they go and have their friends come to your house so you can be close—not to meddle in their business, but just so you will be there if needed.


GIVE THEM THEIR PRIVACY, BUT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON

Do not read their email or their diaries.  Do not be a snoop.  You need to stay informed but if you violate their privacy they will resent you and cut you off from any and all information.  If you really want to raise good kids know what is going on, establish a relationship based on open communication, trust, and respect.  Then you will not have to resort to being a snoop in order to stay informed.


BE COOL BUT NOT TOO COOL

Be the good, kind of parent your kids can talk to.  But do not be their best friend.  Do not try to be one of the gangs.  I raise good kids with my two boys.  I am their friend but I am still their father.  We can openly talk about anything in the world.  Yet, there is a line between being their best friend and still being their father that we do not cross.

It is sad to see mothers and fathers trying to be their kids’ good friends.  Children should pick their own friends.  Let them.  Do not be such a needy parent that you require your children to pick you as their best friend.  Be realistic on how to raise good kids!

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How to Raise Good Kids: Be Realistic, Kids Mess Up  is a blog post on  ModernParenting Tips&Styles for Children

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