December 13, 2011

Raising Your Child: 3 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child


There are really no secrets to raising a happy child.  Parents need only to do one simple thing: to stop doing all things that keep the child pleased in the short-term.  Giving everything your child wants make him think everything can be attained in this world which is not the way it is. 

Understand that raising a happy child is not absolutely the parents’ responsibility.  Many parents who think they are responsible for their children’s happiness will only cause anger, loneliness and failures to themselves and the kids.  Most parents tend to immediately provide things to resolve their kids’ emotional problems.  Unluckily, if children do not learn how to deal with their negative emotions, parents may not be able to create happy children.  Many conditions will increase problems to their children’s lives.


Once parents realize they can’t really make their kids happy, children will be likely to fix their own feelings. Through this, parents can help children to develop resilience, skills for coping up with obstacles and solutions to many struggles.



Here are the three secrets to raising a happy child


Secret # 1:  Always nurture strong connections.


Your kids’ way of enhancing his long-life healthy emotions is by being “connected” with people.  It means they are connected with the members of the family, relatives, friends, not excluding house pets.  Genuine happiness comes from being a part of other people’s lives.  A happy feeling that somebody understands, appreciates and cares about them is the largest defender against emotional and mental disturbances.  The condition helps also in coping with the risky behaviours in alcohol, sex, smoking and taking drugs. 

Secret #2:  Allow opportunities for achieving success and overcoming failures.


If you truly want to strengthen the self-confidence of your child, avoid focusing much on praises but provide more ways in honing his skills and learning new things.  It is mastery that builds higher self-esteem and not compliments. Our greatest challenge to raising a happy child is to stay back and allow our kids do things they can do for themselves.  Allow children learn things through the consequences of their wrong choices and actions. One big mistake parents unconsciously do is caring and doing too much for their young children, depriving them the opportunities to succeed and excel.


In reality, it is not easy for parents to see children struggling hard.  But eventually they’ll get the mastery in what they do if they are allowed to do things for themselves.  On their first attempt, only few skills are completed, but through patience and practice, kids will accomplish expertise. Through recurring mastery experiences will they mature and carry the “I can do” attitude. These secrets to raising a happy child will allow passion and optimism overcome future struggles.

Secret #3:  Don’t forsake responsibilities.


Children become happy mainly because of the feeling that they can do things especially when they receive importance from others.  Deprived of that feeling, they become afraid and feel left out by others.  Studies show that what children are afraid of is the state of being excluded.

In short, every person has the inborn need to be appreciated, loved and needed to be happy.  The more you affirm about your kids’ great contribution to the family, the larger they develop confidence and you can succeed in raising a happy child.  Children three years old or below can contribute significant role to the family.   


So if your child loves to organize things, offer him a task to sort CDs. If he is predominantly nurturing, provide opportunities to look after his baby sister while eating your meal.  As long as your child is making a great contribution, it will raise his sense of confidence and connection.


What makes raising a happy child successful could surprise you! Experts say that child’s happiness is something parents can’t give like a gift.  In fact, over-protected and over showered with toys, children are more prone to grow fed up, pessimistic, and lacking confidence.  The most important secret to raising a happy child is not external but internal:  helping kids to develop inner tools children can count on for the rest of their life.

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Raising Your Chid: 3 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child is a blog post on  ModernParenting Tips&Styles for Children

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