Ways to Help Your Child not to Use Excuses

As a parent, I understand how hard it is to train and discipline children because I can see it in my own son.   No matter what goes wrong in him, he doesn’t always run out of good excuses.  What he normally does is to put the blame on something or someone else for all faults.  Constantly, my son is on the go, so the only opportunity to discuss with him about issues is just before he sleeps at night.  However, our conversations have never turned out the way I’d wanted it.   He puts an end to our discussion upset and crying with me.  He yells because he believes I blame him for things he never did.  Can you please help me find ways to train and discipline my child.
  

Physical exhaustion does affect human awareness and, as a result, it affects communication.   After a long day of work and play, the not-so-hard problems may seem to be undefeatable.  When parents are tired and weary, beginning to train and discipline their children are hard.  Parents are inclined to be more emotional  rather than rational.   Here’s what you can do with your child's excuses:

1.   Talk with each other when both of you have relaxed and rested.   Probably over a breakfast before he becomes occupied with the activities of the day.  You explain yourself as frequently engaging your son in serious talks when he is physically tired.  If you want to train and discipline your child that way it might be ineffective.  Most likely you as a parent can have the tears, pressures, and resentment avoided by delaying some important topics until next day.  A sound, good sleep at night goes a long way in getting rid of emotional disagreements and excuses.

 

2.   You are right that your son should take the responsibilities for his own actions and behavior, it’s an effective approach to train and discipline children that way.  Your method of dealing with him helps find out his failure or success.   When your son is questioned in a way you seem to be accusing him, it is less likely that he will accept his faults and wrongdoings.  If a child fears unkind punishment or the anger of his parents, to offer excuses is the safest way to do.  Worse, when he has developed it as a habit (putting blame on someone or something else) he will start believing made-up stories in the long run.  As a loving parent begin to train and discipline your child while he is still young.

3.   If you’ve recognized that your son is the one responsible for causing a problem, ask him about it in a non-penalizing, non-threatening manner.  Let him feel how much you want to help him understand his problems.  Parents don’t realize that to train and discipline children that way are so effective.   Sooner or later, this ability will be far more functional than his fabricated excuses. 

As a parent, you can help your son feel he’s truly able to solve problems.  If you show love rather than reprimand, you are helping him overcome his excuses and develop a winning character.   And when he’s grown up, he could train and discipline his children the way you did to him.


Ways to Help Your Child not to Use Excuses  is  a post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children


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• Discipline Challenge on Bad Behaviors: Why Children Always Ignore their Parents
• Modern Children: Are They Hard to Discipline Now?
• Why Children Misbehave -- Bad Behaviors Require Parents’ Non-Reaction