October 14, 2011

Discipline: How Can Parents Teach Good Manners to their Children

      Well it's again time to get a refresher course on discipline because the traditional manners your parents taught you are back in the track.  More mothers now are returning to old-schools just to be able to teach good manners to their children.

 

More surprising though most mothers give feedback that Dads are no longer in charge of discipline at home, giving only concentration on playing. Dads forget that they also have the responsibility to teach good manners to children. This has been happening over the last fifteen years.  While women of this generation have become more independent and stronger, they've ended up doing everything.  They are the only ones bringing up the kids while fathers have neglected their roles.  Women now have careers just like men.

To teach good manners to children should be about teamwork with moms. However, dads often get home late at night.  What most mothers want now is a return to the old-fashioned values of the former time because they see discipline and respect for authority eroded at school and in society.

Listed are some behavioral tips for mothers to teach good manners to their children. When we say mother, it is not only for mothers but for fathers also.  Here are what both of them should teach:

1)  Give clearer information

Instead of criticizing and embarrassing your child about his bad manners tell them how to behave and why. They need to know what good manners do.  Good manners are about making people feel at ease and comfortable with you.  Say for instance, It's good to flush your loo because it's nicer for the next person.

2) Tell it off later

Scolding your children for not saying 'thank you' or 'sorry' in public can rebound. If they have been embarrassed and felt resentful, either way they’ll do this:  they will disregard what are saying or they do something worse to gain more attention.  Keep your composure and discuss the matter with them later at home.

3) Sympathize with your child

For sure, your kid must have a valid reason for his bad behavior.  For example, he may have thrown away the magazines because someone grabbed his much-loved toy.  So try to discover how they feel about that also.  If parents sympathize with the child, they will teach the kid good manners and understand his feelings.  More often, this will encourage corrective behavior.

4) Say nice comments

One of the most effective ways to teach good manners to a child is by encouraging him when he does something good.  A person can create some nice comments for him when the child acts nicely.  If they hear you say, 'Thanks for the nice prayer, tomorrow you do the same before we eat our dinner.’  A child will be more motivated to repeat the same act.

5) Be precisely detailed

Rather than focusing on the bad manner your child may have done, point out on one action they did right, this is to help build their self-confidence.  For instance, 'I liked how you greeted and smiled at Mrs. Bridges when she came in.  Probably, next time you could say a warm ‘hello, Mrs. Bridges’ to her.

6) Immediate Praise

This is best during table manners.  On the part of the parents this may be hard, but ignore as much as you can any bad behavior and then give immediate praise when they stop.  If they are eating with their open mouth and producing terrible eating noise, give them attention only the moment they stop.  Once again, your control over your impulses is important in order to teach good manners to children.

7) Use right expectations only

Children are young and aren't adults.  What adult parents can do is precisely the opposite of what children can.   So it's obviously unfair to anticipate that they behave well. Parents must understand that it is unrealistic to sit them calmly for hours.  Nor can children be on their most well-behaved condition each time you entertain a visitor.

8) Be ready

An effective way to motivate right manners is to inform them on something beforehand. If a visitor is expected to come and you understand children may become bored, say, “It's important to feel comfortable, give a smile, say hi and converse for a few minutes.”

9) Seek for a child’s explanation

One of the practical tips to strengthen good manners and habits is to ask a child the answers for himself.   A child is likely to follow them through.  For example, if your little son has physically hurt a girl, ask him what he must do.  His suggestion could be to say “I’m sorry for what has happened.” 

10)   Don’t forget about consequences

If your child has done something wrong you can't ignore, you may intimidate consequences.   You carry them through if it is necessary. So if he keeps banging on a drum while adults are discussing, say that you’ll get rid of the drum if he goes on.

One of the best ways to teach good manners is by encouraging more your child when they do good things. Teaching them about manners involve both the husband and the wife.  With oneness of goal and techniques to carry out the common goal, it is not hard to raise and discipline children with good manners and behaviors.

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