June 8, 2011

Favoritism between Two Sons -- How to Avoid It

I am a father and I got two different sons and unconsciously I treat the older one with favoritism.  The older one is fond of sports and he likes hanging out with friends.  My younger son is very quiet and is artistic.  As a father, sports are my interests and I keep participating on these activities.   I always enjoy being with people.  Naturally, to have a son who is sports-minded is very exciting.  My spouse gets along well with my two boys.  What I am more concerned about is my other son.  He might feel left out of the relationship between me and his brother.  It seems we’re both in different fields.

It is very true.  Children can be dissimilar in so many ways.  It is hard to love each of them exactly in the same manner especially when there is a family issue on favoritism. There are few things to work out a little to become more attached with your quiet, artistic son:

1.  Each time you read newspapers or magazines, clip some great articles for him about art shows and great artists.  Updating himself with the modern arts can excite him more and drive him to achieve excellence in his tasks.

2.  Encourage your son and his friend to a show.  Be interested in asking him a few questions concerning his own pieces of artworks.  Ask him how he accomplished a certain effect, for instance, or how did he come up with an amazing idea.

3.  If your whole family goes for a trip, search for art museums in the places you might visit.  Feed him more on things related to his interest.  There are many small ways to make your son feel how much you take pleasure in his interest, even if it calls for different  likes and dislikes.

4.  You know, being quiet does not necessarily mean being alone or lonely.  If this is your son’s life, then there are stuffs to do just being by himself alone.  For a boy like him, being alone makes him more focused and more productive.  It’s just that your younger son has totally different preferences in using his time.   

Whatever the interest of your son is, be it in arts or not, the role of the father is to provide genuine love along with the motivation to help your him develop his God-given talents.  If you can do this, family issue on favoritism will be resolved.

If your have any comments, views, advice, or additional information related to this topic, you can freely post your comment here.  Your own way of sharing your experience and knowledge will definitely help.



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