October 30, 2011

Fighting Children: How to Handle Sibling Rivalry

Although there are more chances for siblings to become good friends, it is normal to experience sibling rivalry and understand how to deal with fighting children at home.  More often, a rivalry begins when another child is about to come.  The conflict may grow deeper.  They will start looking for things like toys, dress, food, and even parents’ attention.  As they continue to grow, their needs will have impact on how they deal with each other, and then fighting begins.

It is annoying to see fighting children most of the time. It is upsetting to live in a home that’s noisy and full of anxiety.  It is even harder to stop their sibling rivalry going on.  But it’s not bad at all because parents can have guideposts to work for peace between the two siblings.

There are a number of reasons why sibling rivalry and fighting never leave your home.  There’s a degree of strong competition and jealousy that causes arguments and backbiting.  But more factors can further create siblings rivalry that worsen the condition.  They may include the following: 

1. Needs for growing up. It is but common for fighting children to experience anxieties and varying needs that have direct influence to their lives.  For instance, toddlers shield their toys with exaggeration.  They are assertive most of the time.  When a baby grabs that toy, the toddler becomes forceful.  From there comes a sibling rivalry.

School-age children possess the concept of equality and fairness.They may wonder why their younger siblings get better attention.  Teens, on the contrary, have developed independence and individualism.  They dislike helping in household chores like caring for younger siblings.  These differences will strongly influence sibling rivalry.

2.  Unique Personalities. Fighting children take place when there’s individual temperament. Things like moods, flexibility, and character play roles that directly relate to a sibling rivalry.   For instance, if one of the children gets easily upset while the other one is relaxed, both may have sibling rivalry.  In the same manner, a child who lacks comfort, love, and support from parents would have hard feelings on his sibling who freely receives good treatment.

3.  Illness of sibling.  At times, there are some special needs that require more time and attention of parents like when a child is sick. Kids always feel jealous when parents do this since they don’t fully understand the reason why.  They may complain and feel envious.

4.  Fighting Parents. How children see their parents deal with conflicts is likely to be imitated by them.  If the husband and wife resolve a conflict with respect, and not being hostile, fighting children will embrace your technique of facing problems. On the other hand, if parents habitually slam the door, noisily debate, and disrespect each other, the same bad behavior will be replicated by the fighting children.

What to do when sibling rivalry fight begins

Obviously, it is not comfortable for all members of the family when sibling rivalry occurs.  There is always a tolerable level for the fighting children.  When the match begins, what should parents do? The following are highly recommended:

1.   Separate the struggling kids and wait till they have both calmed down. When things get worse, the best thing to do is give space to the siblings.  If not, the fighting becomes heightened.  Wait till anger and resentment have disappeared.  Then it’s time to talk about the sibling rivalry when both are not fuming.

2.   As much as possible, avoid joining the quarrel.  If you keep getting involved, you’re making it worse. You may intervene only if you think there’s physical injury going on. There is a tendency that you will favour one and dislike the other and a bigger problem may arise--more fighting in home.

3.   Parents may coach the fighting children using gentle words of advice. This is not the same with intervening.  They can be encouraged to resolve the issues themselves.  If you think there’s a need to step in, address the conflicts with both siblings.

4.   Avoid highlighting the sibling rivalry by pointing out who is at fault.  Don’t blame either one of them.  There’s a fight for two siblings, and if you join the fight you are relatively accountable.

5.   Prepare a win-win position for the fighting children to achieve something.  For instance, when a favourite toy is the source of the fight, probably an interesting game could be set up by you.  Both could enjoy and play together.

Always remember that sibling rivalry happens to receive the attention of their parents.  In this situation, why not take a time-out option for yourself. Fighting children may disappear when a parent leaves at the moment.  And if your patience reaches the limits, consider handing your children over to a third party—a relative or a friend probably. There is always a solution for fighting children.

If this is your first time to visit us, then you can subscribe to our FREE SUBSCRIPTION.
You can also leave your thoughts by posting your comment on the box below.  
You can also share this to your friends via social networking sites provided below.   
It’s all my pleasure to have you visited this blog!!

Related topics on fighting siblings:

Labels: , , , ,


At November 1, 2011 at 3:43 AM , Blogger Mary said...

You’ve shared excellent post. Children normal behaviors depend on various natural and environmental circumstances in which a child grow and observes the way for his best possible conduct within his reach and interact amongst those who respond his gestures and body talks. Diffidently parents are the first to whom a child makes and develops his concerns regarding his needs and wants. Well I’d like to share some interesting website that one http://www.child-behaviorproblems.com/

At November 2, 2011 at 1:53 PM , Blogger Glenn Silvestre said...

Thanks for the nice comment. Normally it is the children's parents that can help resolve the conflicts between their kids. Being supportive, reasonably fair and loving to them (and not taking sides), kids will understand the reasons why they should love their sibling.

At October 24, 2012 at 6:39 AM , Anonymous Friso Mum Gold said...

Thanks for sharing this!
It's a nice post... For me, sibling rivalry is normal it just take time to get over with it specially in getting the attention of their parents.

At October 24, 2012 at 7:25 AM , Blogger Admin said...

You're right,getting the attention of their parents is one of the main reasons why siblings fight. But this will eventually be outgrown by them. Thank you for visiting this site.

At July 2, 2017 at 12:19 AM , Blogger Jessica Smith said...

I want to use this great opportunity to thank Dr.Ihunde for helping me to get my boyfriend back after 3 months of breakup.My boyfriend breakup with me because he see another girl at his working place and told me he is no longer interested in me and live me pain and heart break.I seek for help on the internet and i saw so many good talk about this great spell caster Dr. Ihunde of ihundespelltemple@gmail.com and i contacted him also and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell for me which i use to get back my boyfriend within the period of 3 days and i am so grateful to him for the good work he did for me,that is why i also want to let everyone who is in need of help out there to also seek help from him so he can help.His email is ihundespelltemple@gmail.com or call +2349055637784

At August 12, 2017 at 1:58 AM , Blogger Mr Win said...

Has a guy ever given you mixed signals?

One minute he’s crazy about you and the next minute you have no clue if he ever wants to see you again?

And it’s especially hard when there’s something special between you and you have no idea what went wrong.

I assure you it’s nothing that you did.

In fact, he may even care about you a great deal and still not be able to stop himself from acting this way.

But why does this happen?

There’s one BIG reason why men do this...

And I discovered this eye opening video that will shed some light on this bizarre behaviour.

Insert subject line here and link it to: <=========> Your ex won’t be able to resist?

It all comes down to a missing “secret ingredient” that not one in a thousand women knows about...

And it’s the biggest factor that determines whether a man just “likes” you...

...or if he sees you as “The One.”

You see, this “secret ingredient” is so important to a man that no matter how attracted to you he is, or how strong your chemistry is...

If it’s missing, he’ll never be able to truly give his heart to you...

And he will always have an unshakeable urge to seek out a woman who has this one “secret ingredient.”

Here’s what I’m talking about: <=========> The difference between “like” and “love” (most women miss this)

On the other hand, when you know this powerful “secret ingredient”...

...you won’t believe how effortless, passionate and bulletproof your relationship can be.

Trust me, this is going to blow you away.

Discover it here: ==> Men fall in love with women who have this “secret ingredient”

Thanks again.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...